Discard painful objects; Have new, long thoughts

This week past I would have been back at work. But I’m not. That’s monumental, guys! Just thinking about it raises my levels of elation into the stratosphere. Anyway, now I am truly jobless, I thought I would share some revelations I have had this week. It’s amazing what having a little brain space does for one.

Discard Painful Objects

1)    I have been clearing out my house, as you know. Drawer, by cupboard, by room. I have seen a lot of things that have been hidden from sight for some time, and I came to the realisation that we keep a lot of painful objects. At least, I am assuming that you do too. I am talking about things that evoke sadness or anger – any kind of negative emotion. I came across a photo of myself at a work dance with two workmates. One of them turned out to be a frenemy of the worst kind. Sweet to my face but sabotaging my every step in the firm. When I discovered what she was up to, I resigned rather than face the disbelief of people who liked her. My resignation opened a can of worms and she ended up being let go but I had already accepted a new job and so left anyway. Why would I keep that photo? Every time I look at it, a pang hits my heart. Masochistic? I don’t think so – at least not any more. It got thrown away. Such a small item, yet it packed an emotional punch that made it dangerous.

Then I found a strange kitsch honey container which was given to me by an elderly relative of Adriano’s who lived in the Dolomites in Italy. I have never liked it but then he died, and I thought I should keep it. But every time I see it, there’s that pang in the heart for the loss. It went to the local charity shop and it will find a new owner who will not experience the same pain.

Try this and feel the release.

The 30-Day Box

2)    I read recently about a great idea. I must start keeping links just in case I want to pass them on to you. The idea is to empty a drawer, a wardrobe, a cupboard into cartons, bags, whatever and put it/them in a corner. When you find you need something, take it out and keep it out. At the end of 30 days, throw away what is left in the bag. You obviously don’t miss the items. I haven’t tried it yet but I think I will start with my desk drawer. It is jammed packed with the “maybe-one-day” objects. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Set to Zero

3)    I read another article on the web – yes, I know I should have kept the link – one that talked about setting to zero. It’s a great concept. You know those long to-do lists we all have. Why not zero it? Perhaps even zero your email inbox. I must admit I have done this before. Scanned it for anything truly important and then deleted the lot. It was very cleansing after weeks of feeling panicked every time I saw it. Think about this when you get that same anxious feeling. Can you just eliminate the problem? Worried the bathroom needs cleaning? What’s the worst that could happen if it waits another week? No one will go hungry, no one will be thirsty, no one will be without shelter. And that’s the three most basic needs for survival. So zero it out of your mind for today and relax.

The socializing Introvert

4)    I am an introvert through and through, but I was spending most of my waking hours in a busy office, so when the weekends came, I just wanted to crawl into my study and be left alone. Invitations to socialize filled me with terror. Now I spend most of the day alone, quite happily I might add, and when the time comes to socialize, I can contemplate it with a calmness that I had all but forgotten. I was very happy to spend several hours today at my sister’s housewarming party. Many were family but not all because she had invited her new neighbours and yet I was quite comfortable talking to them and didn’t have the familiar feeling that eventually comes over me of lacking air and needing to escape.

Think Long, New Thoughts

5)    I have time to think now, really think. Do you know that most of our thoughts are short, repeat thoughts? Thoughts we have had before. That most people are not capable of new, long thoughts. You need space and time to have the latter. A new thought is something you have never thought before, that you have never read about or seen on TV. It is an idea that you explore as if it were an alien land never visited. It is an idea that you think about at length without interruptions from those pesky, everyday, short, repeat thoughts that insist on intruding. You try and have new, long thoughts. It’s harder than you would imagine. I am getting there. It’s frustrating but ultimately rewarding when you manage it.

That’s enough for this week. Jobs are coming in, not that well-paid, I must admit, but there is a learning curve here that I will talk about another time.